പകൽ · A day world
Aadhi Si
A song about loss. About grief. Written for my close friend, Abi.
In 2019, I lost my close friend Abi to a brutal bike accident. It was so hard to come to terms with the fact that someone so full of life could become lifeless in a matter of seconds. The face you are so used to seeing with a smile all the time, wiped away.
These were my thoughts back then: “All I want as time goes on is to cherish all our memories. But I find it so sad that so many of those happy memories have become painful to think about. It is hard to shake off this feeling of what could have been. We were supposed to still be hanging out together, celebrating both our birthdays together like we did in our hostel days, his and mine falling close to each other in April. So many of his dreams were just taking shape. His story feels unfinished. As time goes on and his memories start becoming more blurry, all I can do is try to hold on to what he stood for. There is solace in the fact that the way he lived his life brought happiness to so many. So many of them genuinely cared, and still do.”
This song came from that really raw emotional space, and I just let all my grief out into it.
Watch
Lyrics
Hindi
ना होगा तू यहाँ कभी कैसे मानूँ, ऐसी बातें… क्यूँ रुक जाती साँसें कैसे छिन जाती हैं ये सारी… बिन हँसी तू… सूना लगता है तुझे ऐसे देखूँ… दिल रोने लगता है ना होगा तू यहाँ कभी कैसे मानूँ, ऐसी बातें… आधी सी है बात आधी सी है आस आधी है तेरी याद आधी ज़िंदगी ही थी लिखी इस उम्र में तेरे पास… कहने को कहते हैं, यादों में रहते हैं… तेरी तस्वीर धुंधली सी… बिखरी है मेरे पास…
English translation
You will never be here again How am I to believe such words… Why does a breath simply stop How is all of this taken away… Without your laughter, everything feels empty Seeing you like this, the heart begins to cry You will never be here again How am I to believe such words… Half finished is our story Half finished is the hope Half remains, your memory Only half a life was all that was written for you, at this young age… They say it, just for saying’s sake, that you live on in memories… Your picture, a little blurred, lies scattered here with me…
The hands behind it
Composition, music production and piano by Ashwin Syam Lyrics by Gaurav Digga Vocals by Jimmy Francis John Mix and master by Cyril Sajan Music video Direction by Ananth Padmasola, Ashwin Shanker G, Ritu Gopal, Abhinav Sharma and Gaurav Digga Cinematography by Akshay Anil Pillai Editing and colour by Vipin Samuel